Some Thoughts..

I was thinking yesterday that being pregnant puts a woman in such a unique position. I think it's really hard to convey to women who haven't ever been pregnant (and to men!) just what it's like. I admit that I used to be more than a little weirded out by the thought that a human being would someday live inside of me. You mean, he just lives in there? And you can't do all of the things you used to do or want to do? And sometimes you can actually feel and SEE him moving? Gross! Ahh, how things and minds change. Anyway, back to the unique position idea. You see, yesterday, after I had written out my Lenten goals, I doubted my success. Father Euteneuer (in the link at the bottom of yesterday's post) warned against an Icarus-like Lenten goal list - quality versus quantity, and such. And I started thinking, Am I really going to go to daily Mass? I certainly have the time, but am I really going to go? Do I actually desire enough to show God my love that I am willing to sacrifice my time every day? Lent always makes me realize how truly selfish I am.

But then another thought struck me - every time I go to Mass, so does my son. Every time I receive Communion, so does my son. Now, I had vaguely thought about this throughout my 7 months of pregnancy, thinking of it more as something the two of us shared than anything else. But yesterday I realized that, while pregnant, if I don't take my son to Mass, no one else will. Really, no one else can. It is my unique duty at this point in my life to bring my son to God's house. Of course, motherhood itself opens a whole new world of opportunities for a woman, as she steps into a role that a dad or other relative could never fill in quite the same way. And others can pray for him, now and after birth. Once he is born, others can take him to church or tell him about the mysteries of the Rosary, or read him the Gospels. But at this moment in time, if I don't sacrifice and take him to Mass, no one else can. What an incredible and awesome responsibility.

Lenten Links and Lofty Goals

I can hardly believe Lent starts tomorrow! It seems like it was just Thanksgiving, and then Christmas, and then New Year's, and then Valentine's Day...and suddenly, after months of excess and overeating, here we are. I don't know about you, but I'm the kind of person for whom deadlines are a double edged sword - they instill a creeping anxiety in me while simultaneously giving me the slap to the face that helps me get things accomplished. At the risk of sounding crass, Lent is like a term paper deadline for me. The thought that we are going to be celebrating the resurrection of Jesus in a little over 40 days is what I need every year to make me reevaluate the way I live my life and take stock of the material excesses and habits that serve to distance me from God. My plan for this Lenten season is:

- cut out watching any television during the day and to fill that time with prayer and/or daily Mass
- make daily prayer with my husband a priority
- eliminate all joking at others' expense (this applies to two particular people who shall remain nameless at this point) and gossip - actually think about what I say before I say it!
- spend free-reading time reading Catholic literature instead of Sherlock Holmes stories, etc.

So that's the plan. I think that making it "public" (for the 3 people who read this blog) will help me stick to it and achieve the personal conversion that is the heart of Lent. 

And to help you with your Lenten journey, here are some good links and articles I dug up while wasting time on the internet:

We Could All Use a Little More Deprivation
Recommended Reading for Lent
Fr. Euteneuer on Wasting Lent
All Your Lenten Questions Answered
More Lenten Reading
Death on a Friday Afternoon