Some Thoughts..

I was thinking yesterday that being pregnant puts a woman in such a unique position. I think it's really hard to convey to women who haven't ever been pregnant (and to men!) just what it's like. I admit that I used to be more than a little weirded out by the thought that a human being would someday live inside of me. You mean, he just lives in there? And you can't do all of the things you used to do or want to do? And sometimes you can actually feel and SEE him moving? Gross! Ahh, how things and minds change. Anyway, back to the unique position idea. You see, yesterday, after I had written out my Lenten goals, I doubted my success. Father Euteneuer (in the link at the bottom of yesterday's post) warned against an Icarus-like Lenten goal list - quality versus quantity, and such. And I started thinking, Am I really going to go to daily Mass? I certainly have the time, but am I really going to go? Do I actually desire enough to show God my love that I am willing to sacrifice my time every day? Lent always makes me realize how truly selfish I am.

But then another thought struck me - every time I go to Mass, so does my son. Every time I receive Communion, so does my son. Now, I had vaguely thought about this throughout my 7 months of pregnancy, thinking of it more as something the two of us shared than anything else. But yesterday I realized that, while pregnant, if I don't take my son to Mass, no one else will. Really, no one else can. It is my unique duty at this point in my life to bring my son to God's house. Of course, motherhood itself opens a whole new world of opportunities for a woman, as she steps into a role that a dad or other relative could never fill in quite the same way. And others can pray for him, now and after birth. Once he is born, others can take him to church or tell him about the mysteries of the Rosary, or read him the Gospels. But at this moment in time, if I don't sacrifice and take him to Mass, no one else can. What an incredible and awesome responsibility.