Growing, growing, gone.

This has been laying dormant in my "edit posts" queue since the end of August, but I thought the sentiments from Light and Momentary (the block quote below) deserved posting...

So...Baby D can stand. With my help, of course, but he can stand. And now he knows that standing exists, it's like there's no other option. "What, me, sit down? Or worse, lay down?? And look at those silly farm animals hanging on my playmat? Pshaw. You must be joking. Recline in my bouncy seat? Surely you jest, Mom. I can stand, for Pete's sake!" Where oh where is the time going?

I know, logically, that this is the goal-- to teach them to get around in the world without my help. But it's a hard goal, a bittersweet goal. See, I've never had a job before where my goal was to obsolesce. Always before, I wanted to offer something unique, something they'd find tough to replace. I wanted to be a little bit indispensable. Motherhood's not like that. To be a mother is to make an openhanded offering of the best of yourself, to say, Here is most of what I know about making a way through the world. Wouldn't you like to learn it? How to wipe your nose. How to change a light bulb. How to chop an onion. How to say, "I was wrong; I'm sorry." How to pray for your enemies. How to seek God in all things.

I'm better at chopping onions. Oh, God, make me the mother they need me to be.

oh hello, new teeth

You know those days when you're so tired you wish you could pour the coffee directly into your eyes?

Yeah.

Does a Baby Who Never Sleeps Qualify as an Impossible Case?

Jen over at Conversion Diary created a saint name generator -- give it a whirl and get a patron saint for 2011. Mine is St. Rita.....hmmmmm......

Mommy Blog Round-Up

The sidebar on the right doesn't include all the Catholic/Mommy blogs that I check if I have a chance (which isn't too often, with a 4 month old who doesn't nap), so I thought I would round up a list of some really good ones. As one of the only people under 30 I know who has a kid, and is a practicing Catholic, it's nice to see what other Christian mommies have to say about raising children, attending Mass, finding recipes...you know, the exciting stuff. Anyway, how these busy moms have time to write such awesome posts, I will never understand. Maybe they don't spend all their time on the internet reading a million other Mommy blogs. Now that's an idea...

I Have to Sit Down
Shower of Roses
O My Family
Testosterhome
The Philospher Mom
Wildflowers and Marbles
A Woman's Place
Conversion Diary
Betty Duffy
Like Mother Like Daughter
Light and Momentary
My Catholic Marriage
Abigail's Alcove

Check them out! And add some in the comments if you know of another good one!

Sweet Baby J

Baby D's cousin is finally here! We are all super excited to meet Baby J tonight. Please say a little prayer for this brand new baby and his brand new parents!

The Things I Don't Regret

This mom lost her son to drug addiction...a sad, beautiful post.

It makes the sleepless nights and cranky days a little easier to bear.

Happy 3 Month Birthday, Baby D!

Three months! Where o where does the time go? Looking back through my log of old posts, I realized that I had written one on his 1 and 2 month birthdays, and never finished/published them. So this post combines all three into a super-mega-fantastic post. So let's work our way backwards, shall we? Here we are, Baby D, three months after the day you were born. I used to call you Little Man because of your old man hairline but now you really are a little man! You smile and respond and laugh and coo; you can hold your head up (somewhat) and you can even support some of your own body weight on your legs! We don't even swaddle you anymore, so we find you in all sorts of crazy places all over your crib when we check on you at night. Boy do you like to travel around your bed! But not in the car - you hate the carseat, with its confining belts and gadgets. Even a baby mirror and my singing can only entertain you for so long before you start to wail - a horrible noise that you really only make when strapped into that seat. Which makes me want to cry, because I can't pick you up! But you're really just not that into crying (except at the end of a very long day). Instead, you have this kind of yell, like you're calling out to us - hey, feed me! entertain me! love me! You're just a happy kid who likes to spend time with people, even if it's just sitting on the front porch and watching the trees move in the breeze. And I could spend all day with you, Baby D, watching you smile at the world.

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Whew! Happy 2 months, Baby D! All three of us have survived many, many sleep deprived (but wonderful!) days. And now you smile! You coo! You're actually quite chatty. You like to watch light and shadows, stare out windows, take baths before bedtime, play with your hands, and kick your legs constantly. It's like you woke up one morning and realized there's a whole big world out there. We have to carry you facing away from us now, so you can look at absolutely everything while we tote you around. But you still love to snuggle and be held while you fall asleep - thank goodness! I wouldn't want my little man growing up too fast. As difficult and trying and exhausting as these months have been, there is nothing as delightful and absolutely breathtaking as watching you really come alive and find the world around you. Even a ceiling fan or a leaf blowing in the breeze is mesmerizing when you contemplate it the way a baby does. And it's even more enthralling and magical to watch the baby as he watches the world. Thank you for this gift, Baby D.

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Baby D is finally one month old! Part of me can hardly believe it's been a month already, and part of me feels like it has been forever. It's been a rough four weeks - we're all waiting anxiously for that first smile to reward us for all the late nights and endless diaper changes. But there are little glimmers of development along the way - he grabbed my shirt! he held his head up for 10 seconds instead of 5! he noticed himself in the mobile mirror! Something so small seems so big when you witness a human doing it for the first time ever. I can't wait to see what's coming next, D.

Why Do I Have A Feeling This is Headed Our Way?

H is for Huuuuuuge

Maybe It's Just Because I Follow So Many Catholic Mommy Blogs...

...but the posts I read always seem to be wonderfully overlapping. Here are two from two blogs I always enjoy:

A Woman's Place on the vocation of Mothermood at Mass
Betty Duffy on the Holy kindness of strangers


Our son is still charmingly well-behaved at Mass (for a 3 month old who loves to be constantly bounced or walked, he politely allows himself to be cradled in our laps with nary a squeak. Ok, maybe a tiny squeak. But he is so darn cute that even the most hardened elderly parishioner's icy glare melts when they turn around in their pew and see him calmly batting his eyelashes at them.) Anyway, the occasional Sunday when either my husband or I need to quickly bring Baby D to the cry room (or outside, like at our previous church which lacked such a room) always makes me think, should there really be a designated place to store our children so the Mass can continue in peace? I'm all for removing a screaming child from the situation (and we've all experienced the ear-piercing wail of our own child or another's at Mass) but why is there a special spot, a kind of limbo, where a parent and child can tangentially experience the Mass without annoying another parishioners? And what of those parents who completely bypass the pews and begin Mass behind the soundproof glass - will this be my husband and I someday? And why don't churches built before the 60s have these magic rooms? Hmmmm....

A comment on this post:

One of the things that I loved about Mass, when I decided to convert, was that there are crying babies and toddlers there - believe it or not! It just seems like the whole human family is there, and that's so precious. I was proud of those parents for bringing their children - everyone should be.

A related story: One time, at an RCIA prayer meeting, a mother had to bring her toddler. The toddler started a tantrum and the mother apologized profusely. Our wonderful priest smiled and said, "Don't apologize. She's acting the same way Jesus acted at that age." Those words have always stuck with me; I hope maybe they can bring a smile (or at least a bit of peace!) to you.

Not that many people actually read this blog, but to those of you who check in occasionally, sorry I have been MIA! Apparently raising a child actually takes a lot of work. Who knew? Even though he has been sleeping better, and is currently napping in his swing, I have no brain power to write anything of value. (Note how I can't even produce a title for this entry.) So here's an interesting tidbit about where your money is going, written by someone else.

Whoever's Afraid of Labor...

...should really fear the first 3 weeks. Yikes!

On My "To Read" List

Father Euteneuer's latest Human Life International email newsletter is about a book that seems to be popping up everywhere recently: Brian Gail's Fatherless. It's a novel that "takes on the pervasive moral issues of our day... contraception, adultery, pornography, demonic influence and more. This book provides a realistic and up-close look at what happens to a culture that is left spiritually 'Fatherless'." The novel is endorsed by Dr. Janet Smith, Fr. Euteneuer, and the late Fr. Richard John Neuheus. I usually shy away from modern fiction in general, but especially pieces that are purposely religion driven (that slightly weird section of Barnes & Noble that's a subset of the Christian shelves, anyone?). They tend to be cheesy, awkward, and fairly boring. If Fr. Neuheus liked Fatherless, though, I am more than eager to get a copy. 


Also: 

• Fr. Euteneuer's newsletter

• the Fatherless website

Priorities

My life goals include, but are not limited to:

1. helping my husband and children get to Heaven
2. never, ever wearing mom jeans

Vindication!

My husband was pretty excited to find this post over on the First Things blog yesterday. He and I have about five giant bookcases in our small one-bedroom apartment... and that doesn't even account for the books we have squirreled away at our parents' homes. To be frank, we love books. Like, really love them. Old books, new books... I enjoy just looking at all their spines, ready and waiting for someone to pluck them off their sagging shelves. I adore reading with and to children, and we've already started a small collection of books to enjoy with Baby Boy once he decides to arrive...assuming he savors the written word as much as his parents.

The First Things post is about a study which finds that “Growing up in a home with 500 books would propel a child 3.2 years further in education, on average, than would growing up in a similar home with few or no books. This is a large effect, both absolutely and in comparison with other influences on education,” adds the research team, led by University of Nevada sociologist M.D.R. Evans. “A child from a family rich in books is 19 percentage points more likely to complete university than a comparable child growing up without a home library.”

Now, to me, this just seems obvious. Children take their cues from the world around them, and if Mommy and Daddy spend hours a day watching television, then the children tacitly understand that television is highly valued. Children have far more common sense than we give them credit for - just take a look around you the next time you're at Mass. Find the children who don't kneel or sing along or reverently receive the Eucharist - are Mommy and Daddy kneeling or singing along or reverent? It follows that a home with books (and not just as decoration, but as something read and shared and discussed) will foster children who see that reading and thinking are worthwhile endeavors.

Thy Will Be Done, or Multiple Things I've Been Meaning to Post About

..It wasn’t the Lord’s path for me and I have no regrets.

If only we could all be so trusting and selfless! 


Read Kristin Holum's, now Sister Catherine's, story here.

 ----

As my brother-in-law said, "Meat always tastes best on Fridays."

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Hmmm, considering forwarding this to all the friends and family inquiring about when I'll be returning to work...

"The president of the Pontifical Council for the Family, Cardinal Ennio Antonelli, has highlighted the importance of a mother in the home caring for her family and has suggested economic compensation or tax reductions for those women who choose to do this... He observed, 'The self-realization sought by the woman in a job, in a career, in social success has as a cost the renouncement of the marriage and children.' "

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I can't help but see a connection between these two quotations:

“The human person is a being which does not become itself automatically. Nor does it do so simply by letting itself be carried along and surrendering to the natural gravitational pull of a kind of vegetative life. It becomes itself always and only by struggling against the tendency simply to vegetate and by dint of discipline that is able to rise above the pressures of routine and to liberate the self from the compulsions of utilitarian goals and instincts.” Pope Benedict XVI

"For two of the most perfect and powerful means to becoming a saint are Eucharistic adoration and frequent Holy Communion - not because they are liturgically correct, and not because they are psychologically useful, but because Jesus Christ the saint-maker is present in the Eucharist as He is nowhere else in the world. And wherever He is present, He is active. Even when He waits patiently in the Tabernacle, disguised behind the appearances of a little wafer of bread, He is acting. ('Waiting' is an action too.)"  Peter Kreeft

Let us pray that we can be always active, always struggling against the tendency simply to vegetate.

Some Thoughts..

I was thinking yesterday that being pregnant puts a woman in such a unique position. I think it's really hard to convey to women who haven't ever been pregnant (and to men!) just what it's like. I admit that I used to be more than a little weirded out by the thought that a human being would someday live inside of me. You mean, he just lives in there? And you can't do all of the things you used to do or want to do? And sometimes you can actually feel and SEE him moving? Gross! Ahh, how things and minds change. Anyway, back to the unique position idea. You see, yesterday, after I had written out my Lenten goals, I doubted my success. Father Euteneuer (in the link at the bottom of yesterday's post) warned against an Icarus-like Lenten goal list - quality versus quantity, and such. And I started thinking, Am I really going to go to daily Mass? I certainly have the time, but am I really going to go? Do I actually desire enough to show God my love that I am willing to sacrifice my time every day? Lent always makes me realize how truly selfish I am.

But then another thought struck me - every time I go to Mass, so does my son. Every time I receive Communion, so does my son. Now, I had vaguely thought about this throughout my 7 months of pregnancy, thinking of it more as something the two of us shared than anything else. But yesterday I realized that, while pregnant, if I don't take my son to Mass, no one else will. Really, no one else can. It is my unique duty at this point in my life to bring my son to God's house. Of course, motherhood itself opens a whole new world of opportunities for a woman, as she steps into a role that a dad or other relative could never fill in quite the same way. And others can pray for him, now and after birth. Once he is born, others can take him to church or tell him about the mysteries of the Rosary, or read him the Gospels. But at this moment in time, if I don't sacrifice and take him to Mass, no one else can. What an incredible and awesome responsibility.

At Skip Hop, "we're in tune with the cool person you were before parenthood."

What if I wasn't cool, even before parenthood? Where are the products for those of us who are lame to begin with? That's what I want to know. Don't these companies understand that some people are just normal? Thanks for pouring salt on the wound.

Skip Hop seems to think that having a kid (MAYBE two. But seriously, isn't one enough?) is something cool people have all agreed can now be added to the 'hot' column of some cosmic 'hot or not' list. I guess it does open up a new realm of Facebook groups to join and events to attend. And yeah, it would be pretty sweet if my kid could be "cooler" than I ever was (having set the bar pretty low should help him in that arena), but I'll spend my efforts on developing a moral, God-loving (and fearing) child instead.

Anyway, check out their website and you'll see what I'm complaining about.

Although I do really want the funky farmyard activity gym and the build-a-barn blocks....